Tuesday, March 10, 2015

How I fell and stood up..!!

Hi friends,

   I know its been so long since I last posted but I'm thinking to post every week from today like old days ... 

  In all these years I have seen my self grow from a girl to a lady I have seen a phase of a gal who faced extreme bullying in childhood and who stood up all that to a gal who was very adventurous to a lady who is thrown up into a restricted area and yet again facing bullying but sadly this time she can't be adventurous anymore ..

I know all these people who bully me now regarding my looks are changing me into someone I really don't want to be . I never yell at people but I did that lately and I regret it ,sometimes I find it so offensive how others take so much interest in my life than their own and I have developed an eating disorder with all these stress yet strangely I started loosing weight.

I donno why I blame myself for all the failed relationships I'm in , I never understand the scenario how could someone think of hurting other person with lame words its completely vague to comment on others looks. I'm not beautiful and I never think about it not even once the only time I look at my face is when I'm brushing my teeth and this is the truth of my life and it just confuses me how someone could tell on my face " you are ugly and skinny" , I never comment on others looks , I never gossip and if I have spare time I would write stories or read novels or draw something. 

More than hurting me it disturbs me how inspite of all these things happening around the world all that  someone thought of doing was simply to hurt others on their beauty which they surely require any time because real beauty lies in the heart and they are bunch of ugly people because they don't have a heart..

I remember all those bullies from childhood who are now eagerly waiting for me to apologize them , they have ended up getting bad grades doing odd courses , I ended up in medical school getting good grades and I know karma is a bitch if you live your life plotting against others you will drown in the same hole you are digging in . I have seen many examples of these through out my life till now.

I always just think only one thing, I would live up to tell this story of how I stood up fighting against all odds and they would die in grief .

Today they might be powerful but there is a tomorrow of all the sins we do and it will cost them more than they deserve.

I could ruin them if I want to but that's not the person I am , I know there is something special in me that's why they are jealous of me.

I always tell this every one who are bullied that there is some thing special in you  making them insecure.

I learned to live in peace, thanks to some of the wonderful people who are still in my life, yes I too have lows in my life don't think I'm a super human lol..!! 

These experiences make me go forward and see life more deeply, life is not always about sugars and cream berrys its also about sour pickles and all you have to do is be patient because you never know and the waiter may serve you cream berry this time.

Friday, January 2, 2015

It wasn't all about getting rid of 2014 it was about how I kept up with myself!!!!!

Hi Friends!!!

Hurray!!!! Its new year and I'm totally happy because 2014 was not at all a good year for me . Well.... what can I say , I have lost my dog of 10years , I have lost my friend and even my beloved people suffered with few health issues so concludingly it was a very bad year for me . As I mentioned above it wasn't all about getting rid of 2014 it was about how I kept up with myself in hard situations. I never thought that I could be so strong in life as every situation was surely a experience of something new for me...

Even though I want it to change past is past so its better to live upto the mark in future...

My new resolutions here on the line!!!

1) To stay clam and peaceful always.

2) To educate people the benefits of  vegetarianism.

3) To spread awareness about animal adoption ( especially for animals with special needs).

4) Of course , gotta concentrate on studies and get good grades.

5) To Try to maintain good physic .

6) To stop being a lazy dooschbag !!

7) To eat healthy.

8) To stay in touch with all my friends.

9) To bring smile on at least one person's face.

10) To do my part in helping poor and needy!!!

Have a nice year friends.. Thanks for reading...

Thursday, December 18, 2014


Hello friends ,
   Umm..!! I guess I'm posting after a decade isn't it?? I wonder if I have any readers left lol.. Medical school is defiantly a tough business. 

Recently it was when tired me doozing off on my study table telling my inner self to be careful not to fall on my pen hanger the sight of my green color pencil bleeps me and strangely the first incidence that striked my head was my great grandma's Saree (she literally had all green saree's ) I remember how she used to teach me hard poems in Telugu and smiled when ever I recited them correct , I remember her extra wrinkled skin , I remember how independent and dynamic she was even at that age , she was the only woman in her  village who could recite the entire Bagwath Geeta in Sanskrit and only one of that kind I know. When ever I remember her I remember my grandfather her son who was the ultimately talented and kind person I ever known if he wanted he could have become filty rich but all he chose was to help people , I remember how he died so early, I remember making that decision never to attend any funerals after attending his , I even remember his last words with me he wanted me to become a doc which I'm fulfilling ...

It's like a chain reaction when ever I think about my grandpa I think about my super cool Dad . My relation with my dad is unusual because mostly in India fathers run military schools for their daughters with hell of rules and regulations and mine didn't pose even one on me , I'm proud that I still sit on my dad's lap even pull his cheeks , scare him all the time , we crack jokes together and it was my dad who taught me cooking , we cook together , we go shopping together and till date he never restricted me on anything not even when I wear any short dress not even on any matter regarding love its like he trusts me somehow. My friends who see us together often ask me the reason for the extra added spice in our relationship but truth is its him who always treasured the relationship like that.

Talking about restrictions sometimes its hard to digest but its true that even in this 21st century there are women who feel  gals who work won't make a good wife , women who dream of becoming nothing but housewives , young educated women who know nothing about what is happening around the world apart from makeup and I'm living in sucha dumb ass place where we don't have freedom no matter how I hate it I  have to stay because of my education. 

I remember that kid who used to jump walls to run away from dance class , I remember that sporty little gal who loved basketball and cricket not to forget she was a die hard gamer I even remember playing halo online creating a fake profile as a boy . I remember that intelligent gal who read books beyond her age or that animal freak who wanted a pet Chinese garden lizard or a Bengal tiger.

Some times I feel like it's all wasted. I was unique but I ended up in a place similar to BC era with no thoughts of inventions and inovations .Even if this was good there is no guarantee that I would end up in a much better place in upcoming future umm.. Marriage? I hardly think so , someday or the other I will end up like any other gal which I least want. I don't think I'm useful when I loose the fire inside me completely. People often say I would be a terrible mother who would care her pet animals more than her kids on contrary I'm the favorite of all my nieces and nephews its because I let them do whatever they want , which is wrong and yes I would be a terrible mother but still I love kids and 
animals a lot I never understand the logic how many gals even get scared of puppies and over react ..

I do feel like shouting at those dumb people around me that " gals if you call it feminine its not feminine its bizarre why do you try so hard for those who are ignoring you and how dare you call me a boy only because i don't put on any makeup and nail polish , why do you stare at me? these are just shorts I'm not walking nude , yes I don't feel shy eating in front of boys so what? , yes I never go to temples but do you people at least know even a single bit written in geeta , Ramayana or Mahabharata? I know because I read them way back , yes I'm thin at least I'm not dieting , why do you contradict me you bitches when you are not perfect in any angle  atleast I love myself" though how much I feel like saying this I can't I wish I could tell them that looking posh or doing posh stuff won't help them in future if they don't have self courage they would ultimately end up looking like old mamas without Any respect..

I remember my adventurous life till 12th after that everything changed , priorities changed . 20 is not a cool number sadly. yes it irritates me when I'm restricted on doing something but it is sometimes healthy to make others happy. I never thought I would be tamed so well :-)  .

I remember going into a slum once and getting awestruck by the beautiful smell of the food from each house ( it was lunch time). we earn money for prestige, good future , blah blah blah but they earn money just to fill their tummies interesting isn't it??!!

Bagwath geeta say's a person shouldn't be attached to anything not even to his own body may be that's why I'm not attached to anything.

The thing that keeps me alive through all these fuss is my profession , being a doctor is like an adventure each and every single day , the feeling of seeing life coming in to existence , the feeling of holding a newly born child , the feeling while seeing a person leave his last breath are surely inexpressible. I sometimes feel I made a right decision taking this profession as my enthusiasm would never have grown in any other profession and I couldn't thank my wonderful grandpa for thinking so beyond about me way back... :-) 


Sunday, February 2, 2014

Shades of Love

Hi friends,
How have you all been? It's like a decade I have last posted. Well guys people say love hurts! Ya, love hurts but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.

I know it hurts when someone break any promise, it hurts when someone cheats on you, it hurts when someone ignores you.

It's not love what I see these days, it's purely is a business. It is not called love, when it makes you change, makes you end your dreams and becomes you some stupid dependable person.

My sincere request to all those who apologize without any mistakes to the partner,
never apologize for saying what you feel,
that's like saying, "Sorry, for being real".

 Love maybe good, but dependence is bad. What is the use of love that don't give you the freedom???

Standup for something, 
even it means standing alone.

Do you really need people who need reason for everything you do in your life???

Do it because you want to.
Because it's fun.
Because it makes you happy.

If you keep on waiting for the perfect moment, the moment will pass by and you will regret it.

My suggestion to all the people who wants to fall in love,

"Fall in love when you are ready not when you are ready."

Sometimes the hardest things in life are the right things we do.

The love without any reason is the most beautiful one, wait for it.

Always go on a date with someone who can take you anywhere without touching anything but only your heart.

Love is not about how much you say 'I love you', but how much you can prove that it's true.

Always remember guys, the person who loves you will come after you no matter how many hurdles come in between and don't ever love a person who never cares what you are passing by for him or her, because some times it's waste to end your life for someone who doesn't even care for you.

As a human the biggest wealth that you can have is your happiness and your independence. Don't lose it for a sake of one person.

If anyone ditch you always remember you cannot start the next chapter of the life if you keep reading the last one.

Monday, June 24, 2013

LiFe@ ThEn AnD NoW

Hi friends,
Well it's been long time isn't??? You know guys recently I was in the kitchen , cooking and suddenly something got stuck in my mind, I thought to myself  "look at you!!! you are actually cooking??!!!! LOL yes it's really amazing to see me like this because likely 5-6years back when I was in school I was a geeky looking gal who was extremely thin wearing glasses that had a awful frame whose hair was never cut properly and with a monster eyebrows yet I used to have a lot of self appeal . I was good student with good grades who believed that she was born to rule and household works like cooking etc were ment  for homemakers and servants ....hahahahaha....

Seriously friends everything changed , everyone changed . My friends, navya who was a big tomboy with short hair is now a beautiful young lady, pinky who was a big coward now studying in abroad , chandu who always depended on her mom dad for everything is now living all alone in china,My bro who was 5'4 then is 6'2 now , my doggie is getting old now :'( , my dad crossed 50 , my first blog is already 3years old and I'm no more a teen.......... 

I stay in hostel away from home , I have to travel in local buses for 5hours to reach home , I don't get much time to look at myself in mirror,every morning I curse my university life and food in mess...  But still I'm happy because I changed from the stubborn gal who never even wanted to try simple things in life like getting eye brows done or turning on the stove inorder not to get hurt to a considerably brave gal who see's dead, half burnt, severely wounded people in her every day life , who pricks her hand to take her own blood for lab tests yet not scared of her life and think of en lighting others life ....

I have no regrets in my journey so far friends it is even though I met many bad people, difficult situations and tears that floated but still thanks because the experiences I had became fine morals  for my future.

Well that is it for today friends, I don't know when I will be posting my next post but till then happy journey.....!!!! :D :D 

Sunday, May 19, 2013


Hello friends,
It's been more than 6months since I last updated my blog isn't it??? well I have been busy I mean very busy in adapting new life that I forgot my old life , my thoughts and my interests....
What should I say about my new life , ummm..... should I say about how often people made me cry or should I say about how often I felt deserted or should I say about cross cultural effect which I have seen or about the drastic changes that love can bring in anyone's life , this love which made me travel like 10hours just to spend one day with my family.

 I was wrong about many things and hopefully i realized............ (a quite puzzled post isn't it??? ) 

Saturday, October 27, 2012


Hello friends,

Recently my turtle passed away , she seemed perfectly fine few hours ago but fate has something else for her. She was sick from approximately 2months when I came home she recovered well and no one expected that she will die.The day she died she walked around the house she was suffering from swollen eye disease  so she cleaned her eyes to see us and she opened her mouth for food , she was fine and I never expected that she will die.

seriously friends life is like a hour glass , eventually everything hits the bottom...... 

I never understand why death is so painful even though I know everyone around me including me should die one day....

But at the end of the day death leave the heartache  from which no one can heal and love leaves the memory which no one can steal.

It doesn't matter how anyone will die , what matters is how they will lived.

Moments make life , It's not necessary to spend years with someone , it's just moments spent with someone that defines life.......

When my grandpa passed away I developed a phobia , I used to get so scared of the word death , I used never digest  how people around us whom we see in day to day life could leave the world , I used to be so scared that even if I get such dreams I used to wake up and roam around house but I don't know how age made me mentally strong. 

It may be because I realised that  he who doesn't fear death dies only once...

I understood that people around me will never die , they may leave this world but their memories will always live with me... 

Death ends a life not a relationship. 

So friends why to care about death this second is ours lets live it in our style ...

Don't be afraid of death,
be afraid of unfulfilled life.
You don't have to live forever,
you just have to live......

R.I.P Lila.....(my turtle)