Thursday, December 18, 2014

INCIDENCE

Hello friends ,
   Umm..!! I guess I'm posting after a decade isn't it?? I wonder if I have any readers left lol.. Medical school is defiantly a tough business. 

Recently it was when tired me doozing off on my study table telling my inner self to be careful not to fall on my pen hanger the sight of my green color pencil bleeps me and strangely the first incidence that striked my head was my great grandma's Saree (she literally had all green saree's ) I remember how she used to teach me hard poems in Telugu and smiled when ever I recited them correct , I remember her extra wrinkled skin , I remember how independent and dynamic she was even at that age , she was the only woman in her  village who could recite the entire Bagwath Geeta in Sanskrit and only one of that kind I know. When ever I remember her I remember my grandfather her son who was the ultimately talented and kind person I ever known if he wanted he could have become filty rich but all he chose was to help people , I remember how he died so early, I remember making that decision never to attend any funerals after attending his , I even remember his last words with me he wanted me to become a doc which I'm fulfilling ...

It's like a chain reaction when ever I think about my grandpa I think about my super cool Dad . My relation with my dad is unusual because mostly in India fathers run military schools for their daughters with hell of rules and regulations and mine didn't pose even one on me , I'm proud that I still sit on my dad's lap even pull his cheeks , scare him all the time , we crack jokes together and it was my dad who taught me cooking , we cook together , we go shopping together and till date he never restricted me on anything not even when I wear any short dress not even on any matter regarding love its like he trusts me somehow. My friends who see us together often ask me the reason for the extra added spice in our relationship but truth is its him who always treasured the relationship like that.

Talking about restrictions sometimes its hard to digest but its true that even in this 21st century there are women who feel  gals who work won't make a good wife , women who dream of becoming nothing but housewives , young educated women who know nothing about what is happening around the world apart from makeup and I'm living in sucha dumb ass place where we don't have freedom no matter how I hate it I  have to stay because of my education. 

I remember that kid who used to jump walls to run away from dance class , I remember that sporty little gal who loved basketball and cricket not to forget she was a die hard gamer I even remember playing halo online creating a fake profile as a boy . I remember that intelligent gal who read books beyond her age or that animal freak who wanted a pet Chinese garden lizard or a Bengal tiger.

Some times I feel like it's all wasted. I was unique but I ended up in a place similar to BC era with no thoughts of inventions and inovations .Even if this was good there is no guarantee that I would end up in a much better place in upcoming future umm.. Marriage? I hardly think so , someday or the other I will end up like any other gal which I least want. I don't think I'm useful when I loose the fire inside me completely. People often say I would be a terrible mother who would care her pet animals more than her kids on contrary I'm the favorite of all my nieces and nephews its because I let them do whatever they want , which is wrong and yes I would be a terrible mother but still I love kids and 
animals a lot I never understand the logic how many gals even get scared of puppies and over react ..


I do feel like shouting at those dumb people around me that " gals if you call it feminine its not feminine its bizarre why do you try so hard for those who are ignoring you and how dare you call me a boy only because i don't put on any makeup and nail polish , why do you stare at me? these are just shorts I'm not walking nude , yes I don't feel shy eating in front of boys so what? , yes I never go to temples but do you people at least know even a single bit written in geeta , Ramayana or Mahabharata? I know because I read them way back , yes I'm thin at least I'm not dieting , why do you contradict me you bitches when you are not perfect in any angle  atleast I love myself" though how much I feel like saying this I can't I wish I could tell them that looking posh or doing posh stuff won't help them in future if they don't have self courage they would ultimately end up looking like old mamas without Any respect..

I remember my adventurous life till 12th after that everything changed , priorities changed . 20 is not a cool number sadly. yes it irritates me when I'm restricted on doing something but it is sometimes healthy to make others happy. I never thought I would be tamed so well :-)  .

I remember going into a slum once and getting awestruck by the beautiful smell of the food from each house ( it was lunch time). we earn money for prestige, good future , blah blah blah but they earn money just to fill their tummies interesting isn't it??!!

Bagwath geeta say's a person shouldn't be attached to anything not even to his own body may be that's why I'm not attached to anything.

The thing that keeps me alive through all these fuss is my profession , being a doctor is like an adventure each and every single day , the feeling of seeing life coming in to existence , the feeling of holding a newly born child , the feeling while seeing a person leave his last breath are surely inexpressible. I sometimes feel I made a right decision taking this profession as my enthusiasm would never have grown in any other profession and I couldn't thank my wonderful grandpa for thinking so beyond about me way back... :-) 

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Sunday, February 2, 2014

Shades of Love

Hi friends,
How have you all been? It's like a decade I have last posted. Well guys people say love hurts! Ya, love hurts but the way I see it you can either run from it or learn from it.

I know it hurts when someone break any promise, it hurts when someone cheats on you, it hurts when someone ignores you.


It's not love what I see these days, it's purely is a business. It is not called love, when it makes you change, makes you end your dreams and becomes you some stupid dependable person.

My sincere request to all those who apologize without any mistakes to the partner,
never apologize for saying what you feel,
that's like saying, "Sorry, for being real".

 Love maybe good, but dependence is bad. What is the use of love that don't give you the freedom???

Standup for something, 
even it means standing alone.

Do you really need people who need reason for everything you do in your life???

Do it because you want to.
Because it's fun.
Because it makes you happy.

If you keep on waiting for the perfect moment, the moment will pass by and you will regret it.


My suggestion to all the people who wants to fall in love,

"Fall in love when you are ready not when you are ready."

Sometimes the hardest things in life are the right things we do.

The love without any reason is the most beautiful one, wait for it.

Always go on a date with someone who can take you anywhere without touching anything but only your heart.

Love is not about how much you say 'I love you', but how much you can prove that it's true.

Always remember guys, the person who loves you will come after you no matter how many hurdles come in between and don't ever love a person who never cares what you are passing by for him or her, because some times it's waste to end your life for someone who doesn't even care for you.

As a human the biggest wealth that you can have is your happiness and your independence. Don't lose it for a sake of one person.

If anyone ditch you always remember you cannot start the next chapter of the life if you keep reading the last one.

Monday, June 24, 2013

LiFe@ ThEn AnD NoW

Hi friends,
Well it's been long time isn't??? You know guys recently I was in the kitchen , cooking and suddenly something got stuck in my mind, I thought to myself  "look at you!!! you are actually cooking??!!!! LOL yes it's really amazing to see me like this because likely 5-6years back when I was in school I was a geeky looking gal who was extremely thin wearing glasses that had a awful frame whose hair was never cut properly and with a monster eyebrows yet I used to have a lot of self appeal . I was good student with good grades who believed that she was born to rule and household works like cooking etc were ment  for homemakers and servants ....hahahahaha....

Seriously friends everything changed , everyone changed . My friends, navya who was a big tomboy with short hair is now a beautiful young lady, pinky who was a big coward now studying in abroad , chandu who always depended on her mom dad for everything is now living all alone in china,My bro who was 5'4 then is 6'2 now , my doggie is getting old now :'( , my dad crossed 50 , my first blog is already 3years old and I'm no more a teen.......... 

I stay in hostel away from home , I have to travel in local buses for 5hours to reach home , I don't get much time to look at myself in mirror,every morning I curse my university life and food in mess...  But still I'm happy because I changed from the stubborn gal who never even wanted to try simple things in life like getting eye brows done or turning on the stove inorder not to get hurt to a considerably brave gal who see's dead, half burnt, severely wounded people in her every day life , who pricks her hand to take her own blood for lab tests yet not scared of her life and think of en lighting others life ....

I have no regrets in my journey so far friends it is even though I met many bad people, difficult situations and tears that floated but still thanks because the experiences I had became fine morals  for my future.

Well that is it for today friends, I don't know when I will be posting my next post but till then happy journey.....!!!! :D :D 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

LIFE@NOW

Hello friends,
It's been more than 6months since I last updated my blog isn't it??? well I have been busy I mean very busy in adapting new life that I forgot my old life , my thoughts and my interests....
What should I say about my new life , ummm..... should I say about how often people made me cry or should I say about how often I felt deserted or should I say about cross cultural effect which I have seen or about the drastic changes that love can bring in anyone's life , this love which made me travel like 10hours just to spend one day with my family.


 I was wrong about many things and hopefully i realized............ (a quite puzzled post isn't it??? ) 

Saturday, October 27, 2012

LIFE AND DEATH....

Hello friends,

Recently my turtle passed away , she seemed perfectly fine few hours ago but fate has something else for her. She was sick from approximately 2months when I came home she recovered well and no one expected that she will die.The day she died she walked around the house she was suffering from swollen eye disease  so she cleaned her eyes to see us and she opened her mouth for food , she was fine and I never expected that she will die.

seriously friends life is like a hour glass , eventually everything hits the bottom...... 

I never understand why death is so painful even though I know everyone around me including me should die one day....

But at the end of the day death leave the heartache  from which no one can heal and love leaves the memory which no one can steal.

It doesn't matter how anyone will die , what matters is how they will lived.

Moments make life , It's not necessary to spend years with someone , it's just moments spent with someone that defines life.......


When my grandpa passed away I developed a phobia , I used to get so scared of the word death , I used never digest  how people around us whom we see in day to day life could leave the world , I used to be so scared that even if I get such dreams I used to wake up and roam around house but I don't know how age made me mentally strong. 

It may be because I realised that  he who doesn't fear death dies only once...

I understood that people around me will never die , they may leave this world but their memories will always live with me... 

Death ends a life not a relationship. 

So friends why to care about death this second is ours lets live it in our style ...

Don't be afraid of death,
be afraid of unfulfilled life.
You don't have to live forever,
you just have to live......

R.I.P Lila.....(my turtle)

Friday, July 13, 2012

LIFE GOES ON.....!!!!

Hello Friends!!! Its been long time since I posted  isn't it??? Well I have been busy with  stuff ... 
Isn't it amazing looking ourselves now, Five years back   I have planned many things I would be doing  with my life by now did I accomplish even one by now , well the answer is "NO" !!  What ever  I thought 5 years back not even a single thing got fulfilled by now .
Moving on in the life I see many people and I think "Hey!!! this was the girl who used to be a big tomboy omg!! now  she is getting married :/ , this was the girl who don't even know how switch on the stove now she is mother of two!! "  I often think myself  this way seeing many of my friends and classmates who got married or committed in a relationship and who were completely different  person five years back..
Isn't it amazing friends only five years drastic changes can happen to any person. Five years back I used to be sporty  I loved cricket and basket ball alot , everyday after 5pm I used  play Halo game on my PC , I used hate cooking , cleaning and I was a bit of tomboy hahaha...!!  But now things have changed, I don't use computer any more (only laptop) , cooking is my new hobby and I don't even touch anything if its not clean. I wonder how I changed so much!! 

Everything is amazing! My dog who turned six makes me feel like he is a kid, my turtles are 6 months old now . I feel like yesterday I was babysitting my baby cousin and today he is three year old kid. 
"Seeing people change isn't what hurts ,what hurts is remembering who they used to be"
My best friend and I don't talk much as she no more think I'm her friend , the people whom I thought will never support me stood beside me and I started giving more value to human relationships . The people who used to hate me I made most of them as my friends , I think I developed more like a person than what I was five years back!!!


Well friends change is destiny , it is the best possible thing god has created for us as the say "Things don't change people change"  so enjoy every bit of change in you and some day or the other we will realize change in ourselves and simply smile   ..





Thursday, May 17, 2012

~Typical~

Hello friends,
 Its been long time isn't it? Hope all are fine ! Well talking about this post "typical" in the sense is me my nature and my humour  ,  Every friend of mine think I'm bit crazy , may be I just love being different.
I'm a big prankstar , people around always pay victims for my pranks , yet I always play silly pranks not serious ones.
I remember when I was a kid once at school all the girls were likely standing outside the class (actually there was lizard on a  bench so all the girls ran out) when I saw that I found it so funny that I took that lizard in my hand and I started scaring all the students we all were kids may be we were in 3rd grade every one ran out like hell and my class incharge was shouting "sudheera where are you??? come and wash your hands!!!" ... I was always like that a big naughty kid of my class.
After going to college  I started carrying rubber lizards and snakes in bag to scare people ( lol )..
 So when  I'm not around people often text me or call saying that they are actually missing me , my pranks  I feel happy because when people miss us in our absence its a great feeling .

When I was a kid I bought water scorpions and blind snakes as pets and any father would definitely ask his kids to through them out but my dad used to clean that aquarium for me. So I think somewhere my nature comes from him.

I'm always my teachers favourite till date , I get surprised sometimes because my 2nd grade , 3rd grade teachers remember me and I don't remember them .  When I was in 1st grade I participated in science exhibition  guests who have come kissed me on my cheeks  even that chief guest pulled my cheeks and I asked my mom  why all were doing so and she told me that I was  so little thats why  they were doing so and I argued with her telling that I'm not little , even today she tells me about it .

Often people ask me why do I cry like a baby , when ever I feel sad I would like to end it the very next moment so I cry and I feel better the rest whole day.....

My mom always keep telling me that I'm childish and I need to think and act like a adult but the child in me never dies I don't know why.

As long as I'm living I pray and hope all the people who are around me, whom I like should be happy . I would say that is a caring side of me :D ........

Many of my friends often tell me not touch lizards, snakes, frogs , rats , street cats or dogs , cows etc I never listen to them but one girl (I will not mention her name) she said that "sudhi stop touching weird animals or else no man ever will marry you" and I looked at her and said " you better consult a psychologist " . Just because I will get much attention changing my nature is seriously a wrong thing that's what I feel .

My advise to everyone is never change your nature for others because people who don't like your nature even don't deserve you!!!!!