Sunday, April 12, 2015

5years of blogging and 5years of abandoned dreams..!!!

Hi friends,

This post is special , seriously I can't believe that my blogs are 5 years old already and I thank my readers from the bottom of my heart who made this journey possible...

When I started this blog 5 years back I was just a simple gal who was very crazy and all she wanted to do in her life was trekking and medical service in all 3rd world countries. But fortunately or unfortunately she grew up into to this astonishing young compliment)

If you ask me what amazes me the most I just keep thinking, is it me moving out of the house? Is it me growing up and understanding things? Is it knowing new facts? I just don't know.  At starting I was picked on often due to my less knowledge on sex talk and less interest in boys .. Talking about boys I was very scared of boys in my teens all my friends had boyfriends and I was the one who always ran away when ever asked on a date but now things changed I simply reject and I least care. I'm more confident now and I look lot better.

The only thing I regret the most is I had the best group of friends from 8th to 12th and I don't now , my friends who still remember each and every single bit of me which I don't. People often ask me does it hurt when you are constantly mocked? Yes ofcourse it hurts but sometimes its better if you move on and take things lite.

I still believe in being good to everyone whether its a friend or an enemy and I will keep doing that till my end no matter what happens..

Marriage is still a big question mark in my life I donno why , when ever I tell people I will marry after 10years they are like what the heck!! The question is can any one control this adventurous mind of mine? The gal who lives doing multiple works , having multiple dreams and who doesn't believe in system of marriage.. I can't be that typical Indian daughter-in-law doing poojas and taking care of children etc etc I even don't think of having kids for next 10years but ironically I love kids . I often think can anyone think of having a daughter-in-law in a gal who dreams about writing books on a roof top, a gal who dreams about working in war zone and a gal who thinks of climbing mountains..

My death is definitely when I'm locked in a single room when I have nothing much work to do , yes I die everyday. I die everyday when I talk to people who are not innovative, I die everyday when I see people who are having freedom , I die everyday because of restriction, I die whenever some idiot tells me I can't do it but it doesn't make me wish not to reborn the next day, I know today is hard but tomorrow may be good.

One of the things that keep me alive is the wonderful people I meet in the hospital, my profession.. I know it is hard to be a doctor but I also know that I was born to be a doctor. I live in my dreams of opening a therapy center, I live in every child who thinks differently and I live in that every naughty kid I see.

The  thing that scares me the most is if I get married it is literally killing the dream of opening a therapy center, dream of being a doctor I want to be not what they want me to be and having my freedom disappear.

I wish I was born in some other country apart from India where gals have freedom to make their dreams come true. The destiny of every Indian gal is marriage, jobs , kids and in-laws and gals like me end up the same.

It was surely hard after loosing my dog of 10years (whom I had from 7th grade to 2nd year medicine) he was the only one who loved me for what I am , I don't feel like going home anymore it feels empty without him..

I do feel bad about people who betrayed me, bad friendships I made, bad decisions I took and the way how many people turned out to look at me but they were all my decisions no one forced me so I just keep going straight..

When you grow up you will realize somethings are just promises , people who boast about being on your side are the first ones to run away , this is one big crazy world which we live in the only way to survive is never give up loving yourself...

You will realize that when you are a kid you dream about being a lone ranger having a pet tiger but all you could be is nothing more than someone's wife. In future incase if I have kids I would definitely tell them to preserve and achieve their wildest fantasies because there will be a 100 people in a row who will try whatever possible to make you not achieve that and you will have some more 100 people who will discourage you.

So my funda in life is very simple I just love myself and I keep searching for better path...

               ~ Life is all about how you write it and when I die atleast these blogs will remain~