I’ll be 22 this july and I don’t know what should I be surprised of seeing myself because there was a time when I had a very low self esteem and confidence. Most part I was always with people who showered love so even if few people hated me it would hurt me very bad . I was excess in everything whether it was attachment or confrontation. I wanted everyone around me to be happy. Whatever that made people happy because of me gave me satisfaction.
But after years passed I understood one thing, no matter what you do people around you are never satisfied so you can’t keep all the people around you always happy . Even if you do ten goodthings and one badthing people will talk about the badthing . I have very good levels of self esteem and confidence now. At this stage of life I don’t have many friends but I realised that enemies make you strong. All the positivity I got is only from coming of the shell full of friends. I started exploring and experimenting more. 2years back the same year I lost one of my friend and my dog of 10years I thought it was hard to live but I lived / living quite normally.
If god offers he could exchange all these years of med school of me living in a single room all alone with less friends with happiest memories I would never accept the offer because this taught me how to live and staying with people who loved me never taught me how to live. I lost all my views on marriage and family because seeing people suffering almost everyday with some sort of disease wants me genuinely help them. Having family and stress that comes with it are not the things that I’m looking forward. But definitely want to adopt a 5yr old child in far future. Most of the men I see wants women to work 24hrs restlessly. I’m not saying all the men are bad most of them are good but Indian society sucks! In india inspite of women earning well they are confined to household burden .
In conclusion I just want to say if you have a hard situation learn from it. There were people who said you can’t handle situations yourself and I’m proving them wrong everyday. Don’t let anyone underestimate you!