LETTER TO FUTURE ME

I have recently seen a video online and a thought just popped into my mind that how would it be if I write a letter to future me? So here it goes,

Sudhi when you are reading this post you will be 10years older than now. I hope you are as cool as now , I hope trekking, pottery and painting became your regular hobbies , I hope mom dad are fine and are living with you,  I hope you found your true love, I hope you are married and has opened your own therapy center. As you are 31 now its best time for you to have kids just like you planned. No matter how many people are hating you around I hope you are still growing strong. I hope you became independent and are earning enough without the support of your husband. I hope my lovely brother is living independent financially,  I hope sister is settled too, I hope you finally got a pitbull as a graduation gift and are reading this post petting him.

Are you getting your free time ?

I hope you are rich enough to hire a maid ( I know how much you hate doing house work)

Are you finally living in a house with big lawn ?

Have you visited any forgein country?

How many nieces and nephews do you have ? Are you being a good aunt?

Are those people who irritate you the most still around you?

Does you , Chandu, manu hangout like old times?

Sudhi I want you to know that if you are struck with a wrong person in a suffocating situation feel free to leave him. If you are not enjoying your life in city there is always plan B. Don't let any stupid person change you.

I hope you love yourself as much as you do now.

I hope you still sometimes open Facebook to see your old pics.

I hope you are fit like now.

I hope you are still writing stories.                               


 
                                             With so much love,

 ~sudhi

5years of blogging and 5years of abandoned dreams..!!!

Hi friends,

This post is special , seriously I can't believe that my blogs are 5 years old already and I thank my readers from the bottom of my heart who made this journey possible...

When I started this blog 5 years back I was just a simple gal who was very crazy and all she wanted to do in her life was trekking and medical service in all 3rd world countries. But fortunately or unfortunately she grew up into to this astonishing young lady...lol...(self compliment)

If you ask me what amazes me the most I just keep thinking, is it me moving out of the house? Is it me growing up and understanding things? Is it knowing new facts? I just don't know.  At starting I was picked on often due to my less knowledge on sex talk and less interest in boys .. Talking about boys I was very scared of boys in my teens all my friends had boyfriends and I was the one who always ran away when ever asked on a date but now things changed I simply reject and I least care. I'm more confident now and I look lot better.

The only thing I regret the most is I had the best group of friends from 8th to 12th and I don't now , my friends who still remember each and every single bit of me which I don't. People often ask me does it hurt when you are constantly mocked? Yes ofcourse it hurts but sometimes its better if you move on and take things lite.

I still believe in being good to everyone whether its a friend or an enemy and I will keep doing that till my end no matter what happens..

Marriage is still a big question mark in my life I donno why , when ever I tell people I will marry after 10years they are like what the heck!! The question is can any one control this adventurous mind of mine? The gal who lives doing multiple works , having multiple dreams and who doesn't believe in system of marriage.. I can't be that typical Indian daughter-in-law doing poojas and taking care of children etc etc I even don't think of having kids for next 10years but ironically I love kids . I often think can anyone think of having a daughter-in-law in a gal who dreams about writing books on a roof top, a gal who dreams about working in war zone and a gal who thinks of climbing mountains..

My death is definitely when I'm locked in a single room when I have nothing much work to do , yes I die everyday. I die everyday when I talk to people who are not innovative, I die everyday when I see people who are having freedom , I die everyday because of restriction, I die whenever some idiot tells me I can't do it but it doesn't make me wish not to reborn the next day, I know today is hard but tomorrow may be good.

One of the things that keep me alive is the wonderful people I meet in the hospital, my profession.. I know it is hard to be a doctor but I also know that I was born to be a doctor. I live in my dreams of opening a therapy center, I live in every child who thinks differently and I live in that every naughty kid I see.

The  thing that scares me the most is if I get married it is literally killing the dream of opening a therapy center, dream of being a doctor I want to be not what they want me to be and having my freedom disappear.

I wish I was born in some other country apart from India where gals have freedom to make their dreams come true. The destiny of every Indian gal is marriage, jobs , kids and in-laws and gals like me end up the same.

It was surely hard after loosing my dog of 10years (whom I had from 7th grade to 2nd year medicine) he was the only one who loved me for what I am , I don't feel like going home anymore it feels empty without him..

I do feel bad about people who betrayed me, bad friendships I made, bad decisions I took and the way how many people turned out to look at me but they were all my decisions no one forced me so I just keep going straight..

When you grow up you will realize somethings are just promises , people who boast about being on your side are the first ones to run away , this is one big crazy world which we live in the only way to survive is never give up loving yourself...

You will realize that when you are a kid you dream about being a lone ranger having a pet tiger but all you could be is nothing more than someone's wife. In future incase if I have kids I would definitely tell them to preserve and achieve their wildest fantasies because there will be a 100 people in a row who will try whatever possible to make you not achieve that and you will have some more 100 people who will discourage you.

So my funda in life is very simple I just love myself and I keep searching for better path...
   

               ~ Life is all about how you write it and when I die atleast these blogs will remain~

How I fell and stood up..!!

Hi friends,

   I know its been so long since I last posted but I'm thinking to post every week from today like old days ... 

  In all these years I have seen my self grow from a girl to a lady I have seen a phase of a gal who faced extreme bullying in childhood and who stood up all that to a gal who was very adventurous to a lady who is thrown up into a restricted area and yet again facing bullying but sadly this time she can't be adventurous anymore ..

I know all these people who bully me now regarding my looks are changing me into someone I really don't want to be . I never yell at people but I did that lately and I regret it ,sometimes I find it so offensive how others take so much interest in my life than their own and I have developed an eating disorder with all these stress yet strangely I started loosing weight.

I donno why I blame myself for all the failed relationships I'm in , I never understand the scenario how could someone think of hurting other person with lame words its completely vague to comment on others looks. I'm not beautiful and I never think about it not even once the only time I look at my face is when I'm brushing my teeth and this is the truth of my life and it just confuses me how someone could tell on my face " you are ugly and skinny" , I never comment on others looks , I never gossip and if I have spare time I would write stories or read novels or draw something. 

More than hurting me it disturbs me how inspite of all these things happening around the world all that  someone thought of doing was simply to hurt others on their beauty which they surely require any time because real beauty lies in the heart and they are bunch of ugly people because they don't have a heart..

I remember all those bullies from childhood who are now eagerly waiting for me to apologize them , they have ended up getting bad grades doing odd courses , I ended up in medical school getting good grades and I know karma is a bitch if you live your life plotting against others you will drown in the same hole you are digging in . I have seen many examples of these through out my life till now.

I always just think only one thing, I would live up to tell this story of how I stood up fighting against all odds and they would die in grief .

Today they might be powerful but there is a tomorrow of all the sins we do and it will cost them more than they deserve.

I could ruin them if I want to but that's not the person I am , I know there is something special in me that's why they are jealous of me.

I always tell this every one who are bullied that there is some thing special in you  making them insecure.

I learned to live in peace, thanks to some of the wonderful people who are still in my life, yes I too have lows in my life don't think I'm a super human lol..!! 

These experiences make me go forward and see life more deeply, life is not always about sugars and cream berrys its also about sour pickles and all you have to do is be patient because you never know and the waiter may serve you cream berry this time.

It wasn't all about getting rid of 2014 it was about how I kept up with myself!!!!!

Hi Friends!!!

Hurray!!!! Its new year and I'm totally happy because 2014 was not at all a good year for me . Well.... what can I say , I have lost my dog of 10years , I have lost my friend and even my beloved people suffered with few health issues so concludingly it was a very bad year for me . As I mentioned above it wasn't all about getting rid of 2014 it was about how I kept up with myself in hard situations. I never thought that I could be so strong in life as every situation was surely a experience of something new for me...

Even though I want it to change past is past so its better to live upto the mark in future...

My new resolutions here on the line!!!

1) To stay clam and peaceful always.

2) To educate people the benefits of  vegetarianism.

3) To spread awareness about animal adoption ( especially for animals with special needs).

4) Of course , gotta concentrate on studies and get good grades.

5) To Try to maintain good physic .

6) To stop being a lazy dooschbag !!

7) To eat healthy.

8) To stay in touch with all my friends.

9) To bring smile on at least one person's face.

10) To do my part in helping poor and needy!!!

Have a nice year friends.. Thanks for reading...