UNCONVENTIONAL MARRIAGE 2019

As the dead channels are coming back to live on YouTube I do feel my dead blog deserves a chance ..lol..

Few of my friends who read my blogs already know that I got married on June 21st last year ... 

I know our unconventional marriage always shocks many people , I really do think people who say marriage means becoming one are idiots , good that 80% thoughts match and we don't believe in sitting on each others face 24/7 .

Its only  6months and people around me are like when are you having kids (not my parents they are chill) , but all the others , they feel like I murdered someone when I say I hate kids , it gives me anxiety thinking about raising an individual. Yes we do sometimes think about not having kids and people are like but what about your old age , I'm like ok I'll freaking beg in my old age and that shouldn't be your concern . When I say ok I'll have kids when I'm 35 people are like but what about the health hazards and I'm like see I'm a doc I know there is a lil risk but you know whats the biggest hazard , that even in 2019 planned parenthood is not a thing (you got it right)...

I know we are crazy about our dogs and some people get offended by it , see guys our dogs will love us even if we are mean to them and that's definitely not the case of kids ..

Yes we have full time maid , we pay her so much so that we can be lazy and some people are like you know doing chores together will increase your love , I'm like I donno about love but if I cook daily I'll clearly want to punch his face in frustration . Yeah I like cooking but not every single F***ing day of my life .... I'm lazy actually we both are..

Not to mention these social media police who are 24/7 tracking our accounts , if we post anything sad nevertheless  it may be about pollution , animal abuse or something  they will link it up to our marriage being on rocks , being the expressive person Iam I stopped using facebook because of all these , I know you can't change for others but guys "sometimes in life letting other people win for your own inner peace is indirectly your victory ;) " 

Plus I'm not that immature to post about relationship on social media , I'm 24 not a tiktok kid ugh!!!

I lived with my parents for 18years , then I lived alone for 5years and there was this time I really want to live with someone , and he's not just anyone he's like my anxiety medication for 9years but I got too scared about the conventional society we have all around us, best advice I got was from my mom she was like ," you know at our age marriage was a thing where only one can have opinion (husband) and kids were like these huge commodities which you must have , but you are living in a best possible time where women can speak up and are independent enough to have opinions , whereas having kids is only just a part of life which you may or may not include its only upto you. If you think about people who didn't change over time you can never move forward" , I was like damn she's right!!! 

I know I might have offended people who want kids, have kids , like kids . I mean you can absolutely have kids if you really want them , but forcing someone to have kids when they don't want them is pain in the *** :D

Note : I know it's been sucha long time of me posting anything but I really enjoyed writing this!!! 

Was there at the passport seva kendra today after being sent back twice by them inspite of having full documents and address proofs.  So finally I go in being changed all my address proofs earlier I think their won't be anymore difficulties and the first person I meet rude but tells me all documents are fine and second person I meet again rude but tells me I need to have my 10th class certificate , as a the person who repeatedly read it online that I just need an education certificate need not be 10th certificate on the dam govt passport website I asked her but " I just need a education certificate right,  as I'm a graduate so I bought my mbbs certificates " and here goes the funniest thing the person at the counter says "but how would I know you have passed the 10th or not",  only 4 words were going in my mind at the time  (F-U-C-K) , and I say "how in the world will I complete entire mbbs without passing 10th",  at which point I get a rude reply saying "I don't know all give 10th certificate only " and she writes down "no education certificates given" on my file, she sends me to another counter,  again the same thing repeats there,  at this point they send me to 3more counters which was literally breaking my nerve and at the last counter I would demand her "are you people giving me my passport or not? " and she goes "you know we can't because you don't have education certificate" and I said "but I have my mbbs certificates" she goes " but we only accept 10th" , "but you should accept any kind of education certificate as per govt rule" , I said opening the govt website showing her the rules,  she says "I don't  know I didn't read it but I know that you won't get passport just leave " , I was at the edge of slapping her,  but I requested to forward my application knowing they won't proceed anyway,  which she does after cursing me alot, while waiting at the final counter I think,  all these days of serving the people of this country by skipping my meals,  days where I didn't sleep for 72hrs continues and this is how govt of India is paying me back,  now at the final counter I meet this old lady , as I go in I say " ma'am I have my mbbs certificates but these people are saying I need 10th which I don't have,  which is in university for the permanent licence " and she goes " you know dear empty vessels make lot of noise,  thank you for your service as a doctor and you have all the sufficient  documents and you will get your passport within 15days" , I was like where the hell did this angel drop from,  I thanked her for like 10mins and I proceed out but all the process at the end just took 10mins and I can't believe all the people above wasted like 2hrs of my time because they didn't knew their own rules correctly 🙏 !!! To my surprise all were women and they were referring everyone as "you" no ma'am /sir added , at one particular counter the lady was like " don't you have minimum commonsense how can you bring your mbbs certificates for educational certificates " I laughed and asked her " so mbbs is not education " she goes "no it's graduation " and all of them were young I didn't even know where to hit my head,  we have young people sitting in charge of people's passport who dont know that mbbs is educational degree. I could just have reside the situation as bad experience but I'm writing this because me being a Doctor and daughter of govt class 1 officer , if things were this tough for me imagine all the people who don't have power,  who are illiterate , who might be in desperate need of help and these people who are supposedly have to help are just rude and lazy,  I have filed a complaint and sent a personal message to foreign affairs ministry,  just don't be quiet do whatever you have to until they change things just don't bare it all because if govt messes with us we have to mess with it too as people run this country not govt...!!!! 

8years hitch

When you are 16 and finding your identity world is definitely a scary place....

He : Give me your email id or phone number
Me : why ???
He :  Because you are interesting dear...
Me : NO!

At 16 I always felt boys who use the word "DEAR" were flirting and he felt dear was used to girls who you are friends with ...

Thus began a long persuasion .. I would refuse every single time and he kept on perusing ... That was the time when facebook started he was one of the first to send me request and I wouldn't accept it.

one day he was like : I seriously think I'm a fool now , I just wanted to be your friend because you are just like me if you cant understand that I can't help you , BYE!

I donno why I felt so bad about that and I was like ok fine lets be friends ...

But what he said was right we are very similar , we have our differences but almost 80% in common .

My mom always said finding someone who understands me and my ideologies was like finding a blue diamond but he always understood me effortlessly..

Growing up like a tomboy for a brief period I had more friends who are boys than girls , I never got scared of stupids things , I never cried nor blushed , I was too sporty and competitive . I was bro to all my guy friends (still am) . I'm still pretty much like that but the strangest thing was that he never treated me like a bro.  I was this girl to him with whom he could talk about inventions , travel , adventures , politics ,history etc etc .

The thing I liked most about him was that he is a feminist and alot like my dad who also a feminist .  I always used to say if I ever met a guy like my dad I would marry him because I was so confident that I would never meet a guy with such forward mindset and my parents especially my dad always felt that I would die unmarried .

At some point I slowly realized its simply cant be friendship because he would wake up late nights till I reach my destination if I'm travelling alone, he would get worried if I didn't message him. So I confronted him one day when he sent some message with deep thoughts ... And after few minutes of confrontation  he said " sometimes I do feel like we should be more than friends" , frankly speaking at that time  I didn't think much, all my friends had boyfriends and were pretty busy in their lives and I was bored with where my life was , I desperately needed some adventure so I said yes with no intention of any future thoughts and  pretty much being sure about breaking up with him one day..

After all the life I had I guess the best time started the moment I said yes because being adventurous and full of energy I never had someone who would support that I mean my parents supported it but I never had a companion and there he was with equal thoughts . Whether it was late night drives , hiking , trekking , being on biggest rollercoaster or a towerdrop we did it all..

When I told my friends that I was in a relationship everyone guessed it was with him and my best friends were like if not him then no one can control your madness and at one point my mom was like you know you should marry him because no one can understand you.

That was so true I never had any person in my life who would understand me so well like him. But it was all too unreal for me I was pretty sure we would breakup , I somehow made up my mind that it wouldn't last...

One day I lost my dog of 10years being the strong person I'm I had to comfort all my family members keep my tears inside me and I was living far as a person who is bad at expressing I didn't even tell my friends but he knew it , he traveled for like 19hrs leaving his work just to meet me so that I wont be lonely and that was the time it hit me and I was like no I cant play around thinking its gonna end one day I better be serious and work it on.

I know being in a relationship is not an easy task even stone hearted people cry and there'll be ton of mood swings , different phases but you just have to go through all of it. I always think loosing everything is very easy but keeping everything together is hard yet worth it .

People breakup  for silly reasons these days.

When we decided to get married I know there is this huge opposition from my friends , his friends and common friends. I mean we live in a society where people think if you are getting married you will have kids in a year or two then become this typical middle aged couple but we absolutely have no plans of having kids even more than 10yrs and when people ask me why suddenly you people decided to get married its not sudden we know each other for so long being having discussed it many times it never felt sudden and marriage is the only thing that would allow us to enjoy more , travel more, be more adventurous and be all by ourselves.

Our relationship is I would say is bit less complicated compared to others. We are never romantic kind of people we are more like best friends and still our conversations are mostly about all those I mention above , we never lie to each other and figure out easily even if we did , we both love animals and almost 80% of our interests , thoughts and ideas match. As its the scenario we really do have less fights than other couples and more understanding..

If ever in future I have kids I would really tell them to be with someone who share same interests , I know people say opposites attract but after certain stage you would really get fed up if you want something and your partner wants something else...   

For some reason marriage is not at all making me nervous, have to wait and watch how our lives will be after June....

The year just flew!!!

2017 probably  would be the first year of my life that I felt ended so quickly.  I was busy the entire year , travelled alot but multiple times I was in need of a break.  Stress was all over me. Anyways....

When you are 17 and crazy you probably might not think about life how it would be.  Sometimes you are just alone no matter how badly you want someone by your side and sometimes you just want to be alone but there is a crowd mocking at you, it makes me think how did I end up here...

When you are bought up with too much  of freedom and still there are people who try to control you and  no matter how much you want to punch them on their face you just smile.  People keep telling me how life sucks!!!  I know right now life sucks there are too many directions to follow and too much of hopelessness but this phase like any other phase will pass....

The most important thing this year taught me is patience.  Yep I do get frustrated and I do feel left out but there are people with bad situations than mine. I know it's hard but someday or the other you have to outgrow the crazy kid in you .. 

The people you love can't be mothering you all the time because at the end of the day they too have got a life to live... 

So yes I decided to outgrew myself ... All I'm waiting is for my next adventure...!!!! 
Just keep swimming....  

Waiting is all you need....!!!!

I remember calling my dad after first 4months in hostel and telling him " I feel so different here, I'm literally scaring people because of my insomnia , the other day I was washing clothes at 2.am someone almost got a heartattack " . I also remember him telling me " may be not now but you may end up finding someone who'll love you for what you are "....

 I'm in a position where I'm literally experiencing the things which I never thought I would face , birth being the best and death being the worst...

Growing up being that 16 year old when all your friends have boyfriends and even had their first kiss whereas you crushing over the anime character which you are currently watching ... well the anime was slam dunk and the character was Hanamichi sakuragi lol... The point is you probably might have thought your life was boring ...

Being that 22 year old when you'll see most of your friends getting married and think "hey isn't that the girl who hated commitments and had almost like a 100 flings now she's getting married .... Omg isn't that girl hated babies now she's a mom" which makes you think  " omg where am I going with my life I still hate commitment , I still hate the idea of being a mom and I still think puppies are cuter than babies".....

Being that 18 year old thinking that watching every newly released movie in a theater and hanging out with your friends every weekend is the biggest enjoyment..

Oh how can I forget being 21 when all your friends are digging up beer , breezer , wine , wiskey etc  and you decide to be a teetotaler but instead you become butt of all their jokes as they consider you lame...

Well..... many of you might be thinking I'm just talking how lame my life is .... NO.... I love my life and even at a gun point I wouldn't want to change any of it... I'm just making a point guys..

See at 16 I thought I was boring but by the time I turned 18 all their relationships ended and all of them regretted it and in my case I never had to regret p.s I watched the best anime of my life which is still my favourite ..

I'm 22 I don't have a husband who would bother me , I don't have responsibilities of marriage and most importantly I don't have a baby who would wake me up from my precious sleep but what I do have is a beautiful pet dog who would lick my face and relieve my stress... see I'm a free bird..

When I was 18 and directionless that was surely the best enjoyment ever but when you enter college you will realise there are other things you need to do to set your life to become independent you can't sober all around .

Choosing to be a teetotaler was a best decision ever not that I hate people who drink alcohol its their personal choice but I still remember me telling them " I don't need alcohol to make me feel like I'm in heaven I can feel that normally also " most of my friends who started drinking where really depressed or heartbroken at that time but lucky enough few of them realized that if u want to search peace you cant find it in a bottle of alcohol but sadly few of them didn't and they are still struggling.

The point of writing this post is that guys may be at this point you might feel depressed or outcasted or different than others, may be you find yourself difficult to fit in a group of people but that doesn't mean that things will never change. Sometimes the lamest decisions you have taken with your life are the best decisions ever.

Just because your life is not going the way you want it to ending your life is the stupidest decision ever. What if I had ended my life at 16 and never lived through 18 I would never have got a chance to realise that I took the most best decision ever...

I think most of the people who stay depressed in life are the ones who never figure out the process of growing up ..

Now coming back to the story I'm thankful that my dad poured sense into me to wait and I waited now I have a bunch of friends who love me as the crazy insomnic person that I'm .

Just don't loose hope friends everything sets back but life once it goes away it never comes back..... Please stay positive...!!!!

Outspoken thoughts

It’s amazing when people accept their mistake , nothing can give instant relief than acceptance ….

It’s surprising that sometimes being alone is refreshing than being with people…

That amazing moment when 100 oppose you still one dares stand up for u….

That speechless feeling when you are constantly bullied because of your looks and someone admires them..

It’s magical how sometimes bad food tastes so yummy in hunger…

People like me who never share anything with others it always amazing when someone says “eat this it’s your favourite, don’t do it as you don’t like it , you should go there as it’s your favourite place” …

I absolutely love when men sing mainly when they are very bad at it but still sing to make up the mood…

The way a pet changes stiff you to a cuddle bug it’s always wonderful…

People say money gives happiness but sometimes people who have nothing are more happy than people who have everything….

It’s crazy that no matter how big pessimist we are we all are optimistic about life…

Love has a power to start or stop a war….

Every person loves whether it’s a common man or a dictator….

Why we live in a f**ked up society…..

I don’t hate my country but being honest as much as I love India I still don’t ignore the fact that sometimes things are messed up here…😏

When it comes to India it’s like everyone is monarch of their own land. Young people have different ideologies than middle aged and middle aged have different ideologies than old people. Everything is messy , proving everything is an argument.

People easily get offended. I rarely see people who are older than me take humour as easily as I do . We are always restricted to do things what we like to do. Often free spirited people are considered as runt in the community.

Sometimes it gets into my nerves like can’t every person live normally instead of using half knowledge and confirming someone’s personality.

Things like someone’s perfect than you just because they are submessive you are an idiot only because you speak up for yourself.

Its ok for certain part of life but when you are 22 , ain’t doing anything antisocial still people say you should take random shit from people and never speak up for yourself because that’s against Indian tradition it’s complete shit … The most idiotic thing about most of the elder generation of India is according to them you should never speak up for yourself because that would make you look like a rebellious person…

Even speaking right in discussions I have been stopped many times because according to many people girls should never look smart …

Every person is unsatisfied by your looks and everyone is constantly stalking you on every stupid social media… I love being with people but I realised one thing growing up personal space is only thing that would give you the relief that you need. If someone ask about the best part of my life it’s definitely the part where I spent in a single room while getting graduation.

Somewhere or the other these stupid obsessions of society are never letting the country grow … It’s hard to expect anything when we have neighbours like cctv cemeras who are constantly after you for their mere joy of gossips , close people acting worst than stalkers on social media and most worst thing people interfering in personal space everywhere…

More over no matter whose fault it is the younger people should always appolazise because of this stupid f**ked up society.

People who play victim card are considered true , people who are two faced always escape , people who lie are always happy… where are the true ethics of the society….

In conclusion if you are free spirited, humorous and you have active social life you are considered as f**ked up person here…

There was a time tried to make people happy but I wasn’t happy the whole time… So even if you are becoming bad or every person thinks you are disgrace until you are not doing anything antisocial just live for your damn life… Trying to make society happy is shit because no matter how many buckets of pure water you pour into an ocean it’ll still be of salt water… 😫